Planning a funeral is never easy, and from personal experiences, I know how overwhelming it can be. That’s why I’m here to guide you every step of the way, to ensure that you feel supported at this difficult and emotional time. My aim is to listen to your wishes and memories, and to turn these into a personal and unique ceremony that tells the unique story of your loved one’s life and what made them so special.
1. Preparing to Meet
You can call me directly, or if recommended by a Funeral Director, I will phone, to introduce myself and for you to choose when and where you would like to meet.
- This is usually in person, often at your home, but other arrangements can be made to suit you.
- I will ask if other family members or close friends will be joining us – either to share their ideas, or to support you during the meeting.
- I will ask if anyone attending has accessibility needs so that I can be prepared to support them or make the necessary arrangements, so that they can participate fully in the discussions.
Once we have agreed a meeting time and place, I will ask if you’d prefer an email or text to confirm the details of the meeting.
- Depending on your stage of planning, I may suggest that you start to think about music, poems or readings that you may wish to include, and whether anyone wishes to speak at the ceremony.
- If anyone wishes to contribute but cannot attend the meeting, we can discuss alternative ways for them to share their ideas, as it’s important to me that every voice is heard and every relationship honored.
2. When we Meet
When I first meet you, I will greet you and identify myself with my business card.
At the start, I usually introduce myself to everyone and explain that my role is to invite, support and encourage everyone to share their ideas, views and stories about your loved one.
- I will ask to take notes and can explain my GDPR policy if requested.
- I will offer you a paper copy of the questionnaire if this will help you.
- I will invite you to ask questions at any time during the meeting.
- I will give you the time and space to talk, express your emotions and to take breaks if needed.
I usually start by confirming the basic details, such as the full name, preferred nickname and pronouns of your loved one and the place, time, day and date of the funeral.
After this, we will go through common elements of ceremony content, and start to discuss your wishes, for example for the music, and people’s involvement on the day.
- If anyone would like to read a poem, or deliver the eulogy, I will offer ideas for writing and preparing their words, tips for speaking on the day and options for my support on the day.
- If needed, I can offer choices of poems or readings, prayers and words for the committal to help you to personalise the ceremony.
Then I will start to ask about your loved one. Everything you share about your loved one will be treated with care, compassion and respect. You will be reassured that I will also not share any personal details without your consent. The questions often include:
- What your loved one was like
- The beliefs, traditions or rituals that were important to them, and/or you
- Highlights of their life’s story
- Their most important relationships and/or community ties
At the end of our meeting, I will –
- Confirm your decisions about the ceremony running order and any special requests,
- Invite you to ask questions,
- Explain how you will be consulted about the ceremony script in advance of the funeral so that you have full control over what gets shared at the funeral, I will also let you know –
- when I will email you and the Funeral Director to share the arrangements we have discussed
- when to expect the first draft script from me for you to check and adjust as needed
- when the script needs to be finalised,
- how to contact me if you have any follow-up questions, or thoughts after our meeting.
As I leave, I usually thank everyone for their time and promise to be in touch so that we can work together to ensure that your loved one’s funeral service will reflect their unique character and life story in the way you want it to.